I'm sitting here in uncontrollable tears over my job, which I don't like. It's been like this for a solid 3 weeks now. I just want to quit teaching. I don't want to do this anymore and I feel like I'm stuck. I'm MISERABLE and I can't take it anymore. There is nothing to hold on to and I'm scared at the same time to let go because I have nothing to fall back on. If I left teaching, I'd need to make as much money, or more, than I do now, and I just see what job would give me that kind of money. I can't afford to go back to college either. I just feel like I'm stuck in this job that leaves me in tears and I don't know what to do.

Has anyone else been here before and could give me some advice because I'm stuck and I feel helpless and I'm tired of crying over it.

__________________
Amie
Stylish Crochet Patterns
See me on this t.v. show!
"I'm not an actress. I just play one on t.v."

amie - I CAN HELP YOU!! - In fact I have just started. I CAN and I WILL are POSITIVE words, and by what I just read you need to start to think Positive. All the words I can or "any one else" write won't help you unless you start to get more Postive about your life. Many times we look out ward for help, when in reality we need to look inward.

The second way I can help you is to tell you that you are not ALONE. There are MILLIONS of people that work in a job they don't like, and for all sorts of reasons.

I don't know you !! - I don't know why you don't like Teaching. I don't know all the Talents you have. What do you like to Do?

I can Tell You For Sure - That the POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING can help you. The MIND can make you Sick and The MIND can HEAL YOU. The MIND can make you LOOSE and the MIND can make you WIN. Pro sports figures work out all the time, but it's there ability to harness the Power of Positive Thinking that makes them Winners.

What makes people Happy at their work - It's not Money " but it helps " - it's not the People " but it helps " - It's the FACT that they like what they DO. All of this I have LIVED over the Past 22 years. I am far from Rich with Money " but I have made a Living " but I am Wealthy in the fact that I LOVE what I do, and I am able to spend time with my Family.

The average person " who I am " spends 2/3rds of their lives working - You better Love or at least like what you do. I don't know if you will live longer, but you WILL have a HAPPYER LIFE.

__________________
I lead with my Heart and my Body follows

Dan & Sweet Georgene

I don't know if you could parlay your creativity into a vocation but I've seen your work and, not only is it beautiful, I think it should be marketable.

If it's any consolation, I was thirty years old when I enrolled in law school. There's no such thing as being too old to make a career change.

__________________
Once in a while you can get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

Amie
i do not know what to say to you.
I am in the same boat, sort of. I teach swimming-lifeguarding-cpr-first aid, and am employed half time by the school dept and the other half by a local youth recreation agency. most days i come home angry and frustrated and COLD.

all i can say is, do not do anything rushed. stick it out and as you are continuing to teach, do your research and take your time.

i know that crocheting is your passion............if there was a way to make a living at it, i would recommend to "go for it", but i do not have any knowledge of anyone able to sustain a good living from selling/knitting/teaching crochet.

**** if the situation has affected your teaching and your relationships with the school then yes DO leave.

some ideas to research:
local colleges or university (not teaching) but some other staff position

large company in your area-- in human resouce department

working part time at a place that sells yarn/crafts and make some connections thru that (not leaving teaching yet)

put the energy from your tears into research

can you take a "leave of absence" from your teaching position?
aka a mental health break?

i wish i could help.

I can't add anymore....BigPapa said it perfectly!!!

Same as charlierat, I started law school at the age of 31. It's never too late and you're never too old to make a career change. It was the best thing I could've ever done at the time!

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~Amy~®

21st trip to Aruba: May 2010
Paris, France: Aug. 3-19, 2010

Amie, most of us have been (or are) where you are right now. I cannot say I love what I'm doing, but I don't hate it (every day, anyway ). As BP said, the mind is a powerful tool that you always have in your arsenal. There is nothing that beats positive thinking!

Quite a few years ago (MAN I'm getting old fast) I wanted to move out west and start over, but felt imprisoned by my current salary and accompanying bills - how can I change my career if I have to take a pay cut? I chickened out and stayed the course. Good things have come from that, like meeting and marrying Loren and climbing the ladder in my industry - but this career is not close to something that I would say I love or have always wanted to do. It's a living, and I make the best of it.

Most of all though, I separate my work from the rest of my life, so that it doesn't effect the real important part - home. When I leave the office, things instantly get brighter, because I'm on my time now. No matter how bad a day or week or month I've just had, it does not change who I am or my life with Loren. I won't let it!

Whenever I hear athletes or rock stars say 'follow your dream, do what you want' etc, it hurts a bit. It worked for them, yes - but I can't afford the boat I need (and the house in Florida) to be a fishing guide!

I hope this helps, as it's a bit of a different perspective than the previous replies. I'm very happy, despite the fact that I'm not working in a career I love. For me, like has become good enough...

Good luck, and remember that things will always get better if you want them to.

__________________

Here is the Story of Lisa!

She was a Full time Mother and part time Clerk at a gas station " just to help pay the bills ". Great husband - Great kids - but just not fullfilled.
Oh and did I tell you she Loved Shoes - all shoes and she would have her Family and friends take her shopping when they needed shoes because she had such a Good eye and knew what looked the best on them.

In some of " what spare time she had " she would draw out designes of shoes " she was a shoe nut " - Then one night " or should I say morning " 3am. " she wakes up and has a brain storm - She gathered all her drawings together and writes a letter to the " Home Shopping Network and to Q.V.C. saying that she doesn't know how to make shoes, but she likes to design shoes and has a good eye for shoes - What do you think?

Several months pass and one afternoon she gets a call from the marketing Dep. of Q.V.C. asking if she was the Lisa that sent them the drawings of shoes and they want to meet with her. At this meeting Q.V.C. had a rep. from a manufacturing company that could help make these shoes - Long story short - Today Lisa is a Full time Mom and part time Designer of Footwear for woman and is making more money than she ever dreamed she could, and is Fullfilled.

1) She found something she Loved to Do
2) She had the Mental Attitude to say " hey - What do I have to lose "

__________________
I lead with my Heart and my Body follows

Dan & Sweet Georgene

amie - I have been there too. I had a stressful job in Manhattan I hated for 7 years. I came home miserable and I ruined all our vacations, because all I could do was talk about it! Then I got a job locally and that was worse.

BP was right! While I talked about it all the time, the change had to come from ME. I didn't love what I was doing, it wasn't me. It took me YEARS to realize this.

While I agree about persuing your crocheting, I am saddened that a nice person like you would leave teaching. Kids need decent teachers, there are so many lousy ones out there. I work at a local college, not teaching, and I can tell you, you don't have the pressures of teaching, but can still help kids.

I'm hoping Elaine can shed some light here, as a former teacher.

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Amie...what made you go you into teaching in the first place? Remember that time when you thought that you would change the world , one kid at a time? Is this so far from your dream today that you can't see the forest for the trees?

Sit back and ask yourself why you are at this point today....where did things start changing? is there anyway back to that point? can you ask for a change of class, school etc? Do they have help and support for teachers who are burning out?


List what would happen...good and bad.....if you stayed, and if you started over. Do a real reality check. Can you take a half time position? Seek out all the alternatives...than just giving up. But if you have another goal in mind...start putting the plan together, to see what moves can be made to get you there.


Whatever you do....don't let yourself down....be true to yourself, be kind to yourself....seek out all the help that you can get from friends and co-workers. Remember,,,,if you need a shoulder......

amie, i know you a little better than most of the people on this bb. you are a talented young woman with great aptitude (and a cute fiance). i know you are burning out. i also know that besides the crocheting talents you also are great at interior decorating. i know you love doing it. it keeps you in the field of art. maybe you need to start branching out into it while keeping the 'day job' for a few more months. i think you can be a success. you have a natural eye for beauty in things.

also, don't feel alone. we have all been there. just don't make the mistake some of us have made and stay with what is hurting you. you can always go back to teaching if you find you miss it or do that part of your life in a volunteer program which can be rewarding.

these are just a few thoughts. you know we are all there for you.

__________________
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This is a tough one... each of us react differently for different reasons.
I read a poll recently about how many people get up each day to go to a job they like....VERY few. The majority of people dislike their job, but stay for financial reasons, fear of change or simple complacency.

Teaching, in my opinion, is one of the toughest jobs.. dealing with so many factions... the kids, the parents and the bureaucracy. On the other hand, it's one of the most rewarding jobs --- that being, making a difference in a child's life, even if it's only one child in your entire career.

I left teaching for a variety of reasons - the most important one being the responsibility my husband and I felt was ours, and only ours, in raising our child.

Amie... my daughter is a special education teacher dealing with the most severly mentally and physically challenged children. Talk about burnout, it's her middle name. She has more ups and downs then anyone I know, and what keeps her going is the fact that she's an advocate for making life as good as it can be for these kids. Talk about fighting city hall - she does it every day. I always tell her that 120 years from now, there's a special place in heaven waiting for her.

Although I've never met you face to face, I know you through your words... and through words, one is able to see the heart and soul, but you need to do what you have to do.

I've sadly learned through personal experience that life is over in a flash... a blip, and we need to grab whatever happiness we can while we can. That being said, don't make any snap decisions... weigh your options, but make sure you do that with your head and not your heart.. You'll find your way, and you'll do what's right for you - no doubt about it, Amie.

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Amie I looked at your profile and noticed that you are only 30 years of age. Why not study for something you really like? When you get your diploma you can look for that other job you want. My daughter was 30 when she studied for her MBA and just had her diploma. Next year she is going to look for another job. Its hard work coming home from work and study but its worth it. You are still young and one is never too old to learn.

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Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with the kids.

In addition to what everyone else said...
County colleges can give you a great career, too. A lot of careers can be lucrative with just an associates degre, ie; Dental Hygiene (take it from me, an associates degree is VERY lucrative with this career). Maybe Nursing or something. Sometimes you can even do it part time. And student loans can afford you your career and there are tons of untapped scholarships out there, too. Then maybe you could combine your teaching skills in a new career. *Big Hug*

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Aruba, wine & dogs...Life is good!

amie - I hope you are feeling better!!

__________________
I lead with my Heart and my Body follows

Dan & Sweet Georgene

hope that you check in with us soon Amie...just to let us know how you're doing!

Amie - let us know how you are doing.

__________________
March 25-April 22, 2010
Aruba since 1985

Amie, I hope things are better for you.
We all have our down times. You need to think of all the positives in your career path. For example, teachers get the summers off and those lovely holidays while the rest of us need to work. And home at a decent hour. Hang in there and think positive. I have to agree with Big Papa.

Amie, Hope you are doing better!

Just a short note: My husband came home a couple of weeks ago so angry with his boss and his job that he started to get chest pains (didn't tell me about it until 3 days later). This was a friday night. Chest pains went away for the evening until he woke up Saturday morning to find nasty messages on his cell phone from his boss...chest pains started again. Monday morning he quit (well gave his 2 weeks notice). He is the major bread winner in our family and I' not really sure what we are going to do but we just got back from Aruba and we will deal with it day by day. We did sit down and figure out our finances and we will be OK for a while. So X-mas will be light this year...so be it! He is a talented man and will find another job. I just couldn't see him come home so miserable everyday...and the chest pains, well that's another story. I'd eat Rice for the rest of my life just to have that man by my side.

I know things will work out with us and you. There some great advise from many of the other people on this thread!!!

Go for it!!!

__________________
"These are a few of my favorite things"
...Elisa
defecting to St. Thomas/St. John Oct. 10-17, '09, St. Thomas/St. John 2/23-3/3, 2010

Elisa....I agree with you 100% sometimes we HAVE to make changes...just for our own sanity, and mental and physical health!


I remember one job that hubby had...the only day that he came home with a smile....was the day that he quit!!!!!


Amie....still waiting for news.

Elisabeth....how are the chest pains now? gone I hope!

My thoughts are with you too, Elisabeth. Your husband's health is not worth jepardizing for his job. I hope something comes his way quickly! If Christmas is light, so be it!

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Thanks guys...I went home for lunch and the bum was unshaven going through papers he cleaned out of his office. Oh did I mention he no longer has a vehicle, cell phone or health insurance!! I think the health ins. goes till the end of the month and we will probably do the Cobra thing! So I'm now at work with no car (he borrowed mine this afternoon)...in his line of business he usually gets a company car, gas card and cell phone so its not that we have to run out and buy anything yet!

And yes...the chest pains are gone and I haven't seen him so relaxed in a long time...could it be that we just got back from Aruba on Sat. and the weather here in NJ is great...could be but I KNOW its the bricks that were lifted from his back!

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"These are a few of my favorite things"
...Elisa
defecting to St. Thomas/St. John Oct. 10-17, '09, St. Thomas/St. John 2/23-3/3, 2010

Are you calling him a bum already?? You're too funny. Definitely do the Cobra, it is worth it. Or can you get benefits where you work? Glad the pains are gone - scary how chest pains can be psychomatic.

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When I was last between jobs, I paid what seemed like a ridiculous amount of money ($500) for 3 months of insurance until my new company started covering me. During that 'interim' time, I went skiing out west and tried to do a backflip, forgetting that I'm just not that good. Needless to say, a trip to the emergency room and a trashed shoulder later, I'm glad I paid for the coverage. Good luck Elisa

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I can't help it, but I'm laughing with the visual in my mind!!! Having met you, I honestly can see that!!!! lol

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Nothing - absolutely nothing is worth getting sick over. Stress does strange things! Something else will come along elisabeth, and it'll be better then your husband's old job. I think we've all been through tightening the belt at some point in our lives. Tell him good luck from all of us!! And - we're waiting to hear all about your trip!!!

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Elaine is so 100% correct on this point. And to think that your husband's ex-boss felt the need to call his cell phone on a Friday night to leave him new hostile messages - that's a situation he needs to be out of right now and pity on his replacement.

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Once in a while you can get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

Ditto that! Sometimes things happen for a reason. I am a firm believer in fate, karma, destiny, whatever...Make the best of it.

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Aruba, wine & dogs...Life is good!

Good point, Charlie! This man sounds nutty - not a guy you want to work for. Good luck, Elisa and when you get a chance, let us know how your trip went.

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Thanks all. I appreciate your words.

I'll say this much: no amount of positive thoughts could cure the fact that I'm not happy doing what I'm doing. I can't spend my life waiting for Friday to come (or summers for that matter) to feel like I'm living my life the way I should. I'm just in a tough spot right now because we just bought a house and shelled out a ton of money to get new windows. Plus, we have other renovation stuff planned for in 3 weeks time. I barely have enough money to live off of now, let alone a buck to spend on more years of college and training (I have 6 1/2! LOL) It's a crappy spot I've gotten myself into here.

I'm just too creative for this job, plus, what I'm dealing with, well, I just didn't sign up for. When you work long hours like I do and you get little or no support from varying sides, it makes you want to throw the towel in. I feel like a glorified babysitter/cleaning lady. I might as well clean houses like my mom. She makes her own schedule and does what she wants, and does well by it. Of course, I'd rather do something creative, like make my little business soar, but I can't do that and do what I do full-time. And I can't just leave my job without a sustainable form of income.

All in all, I just feel helpless because I don't know what to do from here. It's hard to take a step in any direction when you can't envision your next move.

__________________
Amie
Stylish Crochet Patterns
See me on this t.v. show!
"I'm not an actress. I just play one on t.v."

Amie,

I know you're really struggling with your situation right now. Honestly, I don't know what to say yet I feel like saying something.

I know that you, along with all the rest of the usual suspects, know exactly what I mean when I describe our little on-line community as 'family.' That being said, maybe I'm coming up short with suggestions; but my concern and sympathy are unlimited. Whereas I may not have any great solutions, you know you have my (and many others) unconditional support. Sometimes that's the best family can offer.

In the words of John Lennon, "Life is what happens while you were making other plans." It's obvious that you need the income and that you can't just up and quit to follow your dreams. You've got too much invested in the present. Unfortunately, life isn't going to wait until you're better situated, financially or otherwise.

Your ultimate solution may be long term; which, unfortunately, means continuing to deal with your present situation for the time being. Towards that end, you know you've got a couple thousand shoulders to cry on any time you need us.

Now, having said that, time for the harsh lessons. It comes down to your own inner strength. How you cope with the present while you figure out what you're going to do with your future ultimately comes from within. If you let the bastards get you down, they win. I don't know what you face every day when you go in to work but it is obviously something that you're going to have to continue to face for the immediate (hopefully short term) future. Instead of coming home in tears every day, can you use that emotion as motivation to find something else to do - even if it's something that can't be attained right away?

I know I haven't said anything at all that hasn't already occurred to you. So here ends my two cents worth. Please let us know how you're getting along.

Your electronic friend,

Charlie

__________________
Once in a while you can get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

Amie....I don't think your alone at wishing for Friday's and Summer. I always feel like I'm rushing my life away because I can't wait for Friday's! Which of course is most peoples favorite day of the week (payday and last work day). I swear I woke up one day and I was 45 (ew), where did all those years go...me wishing away my weeks!! I love my alone time and family time and probably get in a better mood everyday around 4:00 knowing that 5:00 is just around the corner. Does that mean I hate my job...well I hate working, bottom line! But with the world the way it is today we need the 2 incomes (ok so we are down to one now, but that won't be for long). I don't think I've met anyone in a real long time that LOVES their job.

Hang in there kid!!! Good things come to good people!!!

__________________
"These are a few of my favorite things"
...Elisa
defecting to St. Thomas/St. John Oct. 10-17, '09, St. Thomas/St. John 2/23-3/3, 2010

You're so right elisabeth. I said this same thing in my post way down below. There are sooooooo few people who like their jobs. I, personally, work simply because I have to at this point in my life.... I dread Mondays, but love Fridays and so it goes. I long for the day when I don't have to follow a rigid work schedule, but for now, have to do what I have to do, bottom line.

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

I agree too! Very well said, Elisabeth! We waste our lives, looking forward to the end of the week. I am so happy I work part-time. Right now they are begging me to go F/T, and I refuse. I'm sure my financial situation would be better, esp. with Jamie in college, but it is not worth my mental health, either!

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you know, i am thousands of miles from home right now but i have to say that because of all of you i feel like i am in my computer room with my cat cuddling on my lap. i am absolutely amazed by our bb, its compassion, its concern and its love for one another. this thread and the one dealing with dysfunctional lives makes me realize how wonderful every one of you is. i have never in my life seen a bb like this one. we are not clickish because we are a family that welcomes new members any time and any way. for this, thank you all.

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help us help aruba's kittens and cats

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vote now!!!!

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You lead the way here, Momma! We thank YOU!

__________________

I actually have tears in my eyes reading this!

But I have to say I had to read your post 2x's because I first thought you brought your cat with you!!!

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"These are a few of my favorite things"
...Elisa
defecting to St. Thomas/St. John Oct. 10-17, '09, St. Thomas/St. John 2/23-3/3, 2010

actually candy has two marvelous cats that make me miss mine even more. theo and mabel are adorable and cuddly. theo even fetches and is my bug killing hero.

we are taking it easy because it is time for candy's french lesson. it is giving me a chance to read the board and remember the many reasons i love being a moderator.

__________________
help us help aruba's kittens and cats

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vote now!!!!

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I have tears in my eyes too, but it's because I put too much hot sauce on my burrito

The two threads Sherry mentioned are proof that we here are family. The fact that many of our families are dysfunctional leads us to reach out for compassion and concern where we feel we'll get it - from our friends on the VisitAruba BB!

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G A A!!! You are so funny!

And I couldn't agree with you more!

ps - are you still mad at me because I put a sick smiley after I called you lovable???

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What's with everyone horning in on my angel?????

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Your angel??? Feel free to borrow my anytime!

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But, but I'M the angel on this board!!

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Oh, okay! I guess I'm the

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God, it never ends...

I call my step-father today and find out that my idiot brother put a restraining order out on my step-father. I have to wonder what drug-induced haze he was in to do that one.

And then I find out that a best friend from my childhood, a 27 year old "kid" killed himself, O.D.'ed three days ago. His parents were away and came home to find him dead in his room:

http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/art...76/OBITARCHIVE

I have to ask myself, "Will this month of hell end?" I'm beside myself now. I'm imagining this "kid" in a box and being committed to the soil. He's just too young. :-(...

__________________
Amie
Stylish Crochet Patterns
See me on this t.v. show!
"I'm not an actress. I just play one on t.v."

the answer is yes, this month will end amie. god knows, it doesn't seem it at times and you wonder over and over how much more you can bear to hear or go thru but it all balances out. there have been weeks or months in my life over the 58 years where i wondered if i would survive the horrors that were happening. somehow we do. it always sounds trite when we say it because there in the back of your mind are the people like that friend of yours who didn't make it but we are made of stronger stuff.

i am home now so write to me. we can compare notes. we are survivors and will be there till it really is our time. until then we will have these spells of misery. somehow though life goes on and it gets better again.

__________________
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Amie sometimes you have bad day(s), bad month(s), bad year(s). You're not alone in this. We all have those experiences one day or the other. Me for instance. Just now everything is on track again after a month of no end to it. I too had an experience of a boy a knew very well killing himself in the head. He was 18 years old. I was robbed at gunpoint etc. Keep faith in yourself and be positive in life. Talk about it with someone you trust. Sherry will be of great help. I am here too if you want my help. Blenchi

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Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with the kids.

Yes Amie...it will end....we go through tunnels in life....some short, some long...so long that it seems that we can't see the light at the end. But...there will be an end to this. get all the help and support that you need to keep going. Cry, talk about it....scream if you need to....just DON'T bottle it all up inside. See if there is anything that you can take out of this...use this time to know yourself, your Hubby...at a deeper level. Just don't give up!


If we've never been in the valleys....how can we appreciate the mountain tops! you will be able to get to the mountain top again.

when I went through 3 years of MAJOR problems...prayer and faith kept me through it all.

I will be praying for you. In the meantime,

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Amie. I know Kyle also. We went to his viewing last night. There were sooooo many people there. The line was 45 minutes long just to get inside. I do want to say that no one thinks it was Suicide though. He had a wild day/night of partying, it is said he just OD'd.
I lost 2 people I know on Monday. I actually just got into work from my friend Sharon's funeral (cancer). What a week. Came home from Aruba Saturday at midnight had one day to recup and poof...Monday was a day from hell. Not only did we have the 2 deaths I have 2 very close friends who are having lumps analyzed as we speak! Been a sad week!!!

P.S. Kyles service is right now at St. Peter's in PPB.

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"These are a few of my favorite things"
...Elisa
defecting to St. Thomas/St. John Oct. 10-17, '09, St. Thomas/St. John 2/23-3/3, 2010

Corrine (and Elaine), thanks for bringing smiles to this thread. I think what started here with the talk of dusfunctional families is really spreading, and we are reaching farther (and deeper) for each other seemingly daily - I'm glad to be a part of it, and we all should draw strength from the fact that it seems that many of us are survivors, despite the hands we've been dealt.

My right-hand man/assistant at work quit yesterday (big bad scene), and I leave for a 2 week vacation in just over 2 days. Think I'll be needing this trip...

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sherry and susanna nailed it, Kevin. Life has peaks and valleys.. highs and lows, and somehow or other - most of us put one foot in front of the other and trudge forward. I've always said that as bad as things get, and things got really bad in my life, trust me, I've hated sounding like a victim because I'm so lucky in so many ways. Sickness is the worst when there's no cure and you see someone wither away... suffer terribly and die. Been there, done that, so everything else that comes along in the form of bad will pass..
When going through anxious times, I know that eventually it'll work out... maybe not to my liking, but it WILL work out. Life IS good!

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!