I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

__________________
The Timeless Candy Source

Web: www.TimelessCandy.com

eBay Store: www.TimelessCandySource.com

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

__________________
The Timeless Candy Source

Web: www.TimelessCandy.com

eBay Store: www.TimelessCandySource.com

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my *** drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your *** drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

__________________
The Timeless Candy Source

Web: www.TimelessCandy.com

eBay Store: www.TimelessCandySource.com

Morris, an 82 year-old man, finally went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

__________________
The Timeless Candy Source

Web: www.TimelessCandy.com

eBay Store: www.TimelessCandySource.com

Jerry was a furniture dealer in Knoxville, Tennessee. He decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Some people are like Slinkies
They're really good for nothing.
But they still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs.

__________________
help us help aruba's kittens and cats

http://www.arubakitten.org/






vote now!!!!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/N...uba/index.html

True story about speaking French. An American gentleman was passing through Montreal for only 1 day, so a friend and I decided to give him the tour of the city. He had never before spoken any French, and this really intrigued him. He kept practising this one phrase..."Désolé, je ne parle pas Français"....which means, sorry i don't speak French. We were walking down Ste. Cathrine street heading to a resturant when a women stopped our guest to ask directions. He stuttered and stammered, and finally said in English that he couldn't speak French. Now he was frustrated with himself, and we helped him practise some more. Someone else stopped him to ask for directions, and he proudly said "désloé, je ne parle pas Français". When he looked over at us to see what we thought of his French...we were doubled up with laughter. "that bad eh?" "no, pretty good as a matter of fact " I answered," the only problem is...she spoke in English!"

Okay! Someone owes me a new monitor! I've spit my water out laughing too much! Okay, it's not water, it's wine but thanks for the laughs! Great jokes everyone! It is a welcomed relief!

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him. A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up,


"You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"


The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am. He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately.


The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay. She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45."


She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. She smiled and said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or6:45."


The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand.


By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!


In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up.


This week the lady lawyer played right-handed which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out! Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up.


Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"


The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit.


Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed. All the girls on the team thought this was hysterical."


Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"


She said, "Then I'm fifteen minutes late"

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

__________________

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
H. L. Mencken

<> <> <>

AIR CONDITIONING


It was a sweltering August day in 1937 when the 3 Cohen brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker (an infamous anti-Semite).

"Mr.Ford", announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."

Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person", said Norman.

After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black automobile parked in front of the building. Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside, Mr. Ford."

"What!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy? It's over a hundred degrees in that car!"

"It is", smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down Mr.Ford, and push the white button."

Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a sudden a whoosh of freezing air started blowing from vents all around the car, and within seconds the automobile was not only comfortable, it was quite cool.

"This is amazing!" exclaimed Ford. "How much do you want for the patent?'

One of the brothers spoke up: "The price is One Million Dollars." Then he paused. "And there is something else. The name 'Cohen Brothers Air Conditioning' must be stamped right next to the Ford logo on the dash board!"

"Money is no problem," retorted Ford," but there is no way I will have a Jewish name next to my logo on my cars!"

They haggled back and forth for a while and finally they settled. Five Million Dollars, and the Cohens' name would be left off. However, the first names of the Cohen brothers would be forever emblazoned upon the console of every Ford air conditioning system.

And that is why even today, whenever you enter a Ford vehicle, you see those three names clearly printed on the air conditioning control panel..................

NORM, HI and MAX

Quickie!



Bubba and Homer were sitting in back of their trailers, shooting the breeze.

Bubba asked Homer, "If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin' an' I made love to yore wife, an' she got pregnant, would that make us kin?"

Homer scratched his head for a bit then said,
"I don't think so, but it shore would make us even."

Tech/Geek Humor 101_2005.

"Daddy, how was I born?"


Dad answered: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

So, we sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said -----



You've Got Male!!!

I don't have a joke but for anyone who needs to lighten up or forget their problems for a while, go see War of The Worlds. Great movie, unbelievable special effects. Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning have great chemistry as Dad and daughter and Tom Robbins - great as usual as a weirdo.

__________________

Great Movie, well at least for me it was, anyway, just cause I can respect Tom's personal moral values, as well as his acting style, and I'm just so amazed at that little girl's (Dakota) natural talent for acting, at such a young age too. - Talk about the Camera Falling in Love with you.

I agree, if you're still into the old theater buff like some of us (or wait till it's out on DVD if you're not), either way, it makes for great Summer Blockbuster Entertainment.

Little Paul watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go
into the woods. Curious, Paul followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Paul found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Paul, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want
to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Paul to tell his story. Paul
started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into
the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giv! ing Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

MORAL: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

__________________
The Timeless Candy Source

Web: www.TimelessCandy.com

eBay Store: www.TimelessCandySource.com

Hehehe. - Well I knew there was something I had to be thankful for all day, but no matter where I looked, I just couldn't find it; that is, of course, until I read this.

Thanks for helping me out here, susanna.

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on ***, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"


Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name.?"

<><><><><><>

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad,where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine"

<><><><><><>

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, " the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

<><><><><><>

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

<><><><><><>

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

<><><><><><>

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

a. All the DNA is the same.

b. There are no dental records.

<><><><><><>

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

<><><><><><>

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

<><><><><><>

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.

Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"

The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."

<><><><><><>

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

<><><><><><>

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say?" asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"

<><><><><><>

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."




Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
H. L. Mencken

A young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work among the bright lights of London.
She comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi wearing a full-length mink coat.

"Begorrah, Coleen," says her mother. "Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' an' it looks so
expensive. Where did ye get that?"

Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don't they have wonderful prizes in London."

When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her mom
a few months later.

This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a
large diamond ring.

Same exchange with Mom............same "Won it at bingo!" Then Colleen returns to the
bright lights again.

A few months later, she's back again. And this time she's sporting a beautiful emerald
diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She hands her mother 1,000
pounds and explains that she won it all in bingo. Then she asks her Mom to run her a
bath as she need to freshen up.

Her Mom draws the bath while Colleen gets undressed in her bedroom, but when she
gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen,
a wee bit peeved at her Mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed
1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, "Mom! Sure now didn't I ask you to run me a bath?
There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!"

"Indade there is, me darlin" replies her Mom. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo
card wet now, do we?"

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Number One Idiot of 2004

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2004

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2004

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag"

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, he man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2004

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter n the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "No, because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his river's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2004

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2004

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that's smart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Eight of 2004

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.

When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

__________________
Why Don't We Get Drunk (Jimmy Buffett)

__________________

An elderly couple had been happily married for 62 years. They were far from being rich, and had struggled all their lives. They had no secrets from each other except one. The wife kept a shoebox in the closet, and had made her husband swear to never look in the box. The hubby kept his promise, even forgetting about it completely. Well, the woman was on her death bed, the husband tenderly looking after her. One day she asked ths love of her life to take down the box for her, and to bring it to her. So he lovingly did as she asked. When she opened the box with him, inside were two little crocheted dolls, and $2,500.00. Then she went on to explain to her husband that on the day of their wedding, as wise person told her that when she got really upset with her husband, she should sit down, and crochet a little doll, and this is what she did. Well, the husband was really touched, and quite proud of the fact that there were only 2 dolls in the box. "Oh honey ", he exclaimed, "I'm glad that I was such a good husband for you, but where did all this money come from?" "Oh," she answered," that is from all the dolls that I sold!"

For those of you with MP3 playing capabilities, here's a comedy Rock Music version of Jihadists, called " Winds Of Jihad."


I would rate it as 'PG-17' (due to a few words), but I don't want to risk jumping into the 'R' rated territory, so I've hyped in the direct link for local download.

*NOTE* You'll probably want to have Broadband, if you decide to go for it (DSL, etc., fast internet access), since the MP3 file comes it at about 5.7 MB's.

http://www.terrorists-suck.org/fight/Winds_of_Jihad.mp3

pant.... nothing you do surprises me!!! lol

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Saw this link....thought I would share it. Turn up the volume and watch the whole thing. enjoy.

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcar...ode=PV24213390

That was Beautiful susanna, Thank You!

And to reciprocate, here's one for you, though slightly more serious and it may not be suitable for anyone who's Anti US Military.



http://www.gcsdistributing.com/?pv=tr&tf=TDP&DT=UT

Hahahah.

Don't know how I missed this one, but it's made Bingo sound a whole lot more interesting to me.

Italian Tomato Garden

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to
plantmy tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a
garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you
would dig the plot for me. Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden.
That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning,
FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area
without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Now THAT is one thoughtful son!

This is a very nice link.... not the usual Elaine post!!
Click here: We all need a reminder

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went
on vacation to the Holy Land

While they were there,
the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them,
"You can have her shipped home for $5,000,
or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.

The man thought about it and
told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why?"
Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your Mother-in-law home,
when it would be wonderful to spend only $150.00?"

The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago,
he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead.
I just can't take that chance."

__________________




The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

__________________

LOL.

Good one, and another I'd never heard added to my collection.

Thanks Elaine.

There is an old adage about how ' Knowledge grows easily enough, but True Wisdom often lingers beyond the grasp of most.'

Keep this in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumour. Especially the last line.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.


One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."


"Three?"

"That's right,"Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my
student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say.


The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you
are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."


"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are
about to tell me about my student something good?"


"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.


Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a
third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither
True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

Obviously, this is not the proper venue for this, but I'm Late, time is running out, & I promised maximum exposure to my bro's on this, so regardless of the consequences, Madam Queen, here I go.

Please!! even if you're ready to go out there and defend your freedoms and rights to fight this war on your own now, at least click & show you care for the one's who are doing it now.

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2005 4:58 PM

7/12/05

Dear American Patriots:

A few days ago, I had sent out a request for each person receiving this e-mail to open the link below and scroll down on the list to the lower right to the House of Representatives Bill (H.R. 995). Click on that bill, then fill in your zip code or address. A letter will open up which will be directed directly to your congressman asking for support of the bill.

It is absolutely imperative that we all do this as soon as possible. This is not a back burner item. Many veterans having served in and been wounded in combat for our country are disincluded from retired pay. This is contrary to new provisions in the law which grant special compensation for all other retirees with 20 years of service and have VA rated disabilities whether the disabilities are combat related or not. The American Public is probably unaware that many, many men are retired from severe combat wounds under USC Title 10, Chapter 61 and they are eliminated under this Chapter 61 from receiving both retirement pay and VA disability. Only the American Public can change this travesty. Please follow the link below today and register your vote. Then send this note to everyone in your e-mail group and let them decide whether they want to start changing the improper way Combat Veterans retired under Chapter 61 are treated.

Here is the link:


http://capwiz.com/usdr

Thank You Very Much for being an involved Citizen!!!

Roary S. Walsh (U.S.M.C.-Retired)
949.581.3027
roary.walsh@cox.net



6/30/05

Dear Friends, Relatives, and other Recalcitrants:

Below there is a link that you can open by double clicking it. At that link there is a bill that would help me and many others directly that were retired by the Military under Title 10, Chapter 61. Certain benefits are being withheld from all veterans that were severally wounded in combat and then retired from the Military mandatorily. There is a bill in the House of Representatives (H.R. 995) that would release those benefits to the veterans retired under Chapter 61. Please of your own volition go to the link below, double click it and go to the web site. At the web site there is a letter pre-written and will be addressed by your zip code and sent to the corresponding Congressman. Make sure you choose the bill H.R. 995 for Chapter 61 Retirees.

I would greatly appreciate this effort. Time is of essence, so do it right away if you decide to do it. Here is the link!!!

http://capwiz.com/usdr

And please don't hesitate to send it to your friends and have them give their input to the government as well. Thanks!!!


Thanks One and All,

With best regards,

Roary S. Walsh
949.581.3027
roary.walsh@cox.net

Yeah, I know, there's nothing fun about this one, but if you don't start supporting those who sacrifice all they've got and believe in for your freedoms, then this is a good time as any to pack your shit & kiss your own bum good bye.

this post stays pant. i agree completely. i have seen way too much of what is happening to the military and their families over the last several years. it was bad before but worse now. my personal opinion...if you offer to give your life for your country, your country owes something in return. simple logic.

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help us help aruba's kittens and cats

http://www.arubakitten.org/






vote now!!!!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/N...uba/index.html

Thank YOU Sherry.

Long Live & God Save Our VisitAruba Queen.

Good one! What about the "Princess-to-be"?

__________________

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on
>a
>beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and
>with a smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?" "You ignorant
>unworthy
>daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman
>giving me anything!" barked Bin Laden. The shocked genie said "Please, I
>must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."
>
>Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman,
>and said , "Very well, I want to awaken with three
>American women in my bed in the morning, so just do it and be off with
>you!"
>The annoyed genie said, "So be it !" and disappeared.
>
>The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya
>Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His ***** was gone, his knees were broken,
>and he had no health insurance.
>
>God is good.
>
>
>

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Hmmm, I'd say that he got what he deserved!

POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But, I always buy it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container ..........

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM".

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The countdown's begun!
January 30th to February 27th!

Oh my godness, I wasn't even aware that there was a Princess to be.

Silly me, but by all means, God Bless America, our ever so Wise Queen, Sherry, & our Graceful, New Princess 2 B, Corinne.

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him. A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up,

"You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am. He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately.

The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay. She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45."

She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. She smiled and said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand.

By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!

In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up.

This week the lady lawyer played right-handed which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out! Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up.

Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit.

Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed. All the girls on the team thought this was hysterical."

Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"

She said, "Then I'm fifteen minutes late"

Ohhh Noooooo....too funny Elaine!

Thank you Panth! Great joke too!

__________________

Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man
declares he will BBQ the following chain of events is put into motion:

1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.

2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with
the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to man,who is
lounging beside the grill, beer or drink in hand.

4) The man places the meat on the grill.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer, or drink while he
deals with the situation.

7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed; her night off.

12) And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no
pleasing a woman.

__________________
We ARUBA!!
January 18 - February 5, 2007
CAN'T WAIT!!!!



[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

Did you have a webcam at my house, hooked??

__________________

It's probably the same cam that's at my house!!!!!!!!

__________________
We ARUBA!!
January 18 - February 5, 2007
CAN'T WAIT!!!!



[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new
auto for weeks.

He wanted a new pickup truck. She wanted a fast
little Saab-like sports car so she could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old
truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said. I want something that goes from 0
to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."

For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services are pending.

__________________
We ARUBA!!
January 18 - February 5, 2007
CAN'T WAIT!!!!



[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his ***** in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely........... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?