ok, maybe it will work better this way if i sticky this like a joke thread. let's all scan our internet news and keep this going. news of the weird is a fun thing to read.

here's one to start us off:

Mom poses as her daughter to practice with cheerleaders

Wendy Brown, 33, was arrested for identity theft after police say she used her daughter's documentation to become a student at a local high school and practice with the cheerleading squad. Officials said the woman stopped attending school after the first day, prompting a truancy investigation that led to the discovery of her true identity. (Green Bay Press-Gazette)

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Good Monday morning maniacs. Wake UP!!!

If You're Going To Lust After Little Children, You Damn Well Better Be Standing, Mister !!
New York City has struck back with a vengeance in their war on pedophiles, having made it a crime for adults to sit down in playgrounds unless accompanied by a small child (or a small monkey, if you're an organ grinder)
Unfortunately, 47 year old Sandra Catena didn't know this, and was issued a $1000 ticket by officers while innocently waiting for an arts festival to start. Sitting quietly on a bench, it is well known, riles up the blood to child-lusting proportions, which is why the ticket also comes with 90 days worth of jail time.
A spokesman for the park department expressed disappointment, saying that "the department hoped police would use some common sense when enforcing the rule".

Busted comedian has pizzas delivered to jail after his release


After posting bail on misdemeanor drug charges for marijuana possession, "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" star Ron White had six pizzas delivered to the jail. Good PR move, I guess, although you have to wonder about the toppings. (TCPalm.com)

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HELP FOR THE HURRICANE VICTIMS

For Those Who Have Lost Everything, We'll Help You To Lose A Little More
To some, Dr. Jerry Edwards is the Johnny Appleseed of Little Rock, Arkansas, except that he doesn't plant apple trees, but he does perform free abortions to victims of hurricanes.
Needless to say, this service doesn't not endear him to the Arkansas Right to Life movement, which launched "Operation Baby Box" in response to his crusade.
Please note: "Operation Baby Box" provides "diapers, clothing and other supplies for newborns and their mothers" and does not, in fact, place babies in boxes and send them to non-hurricane states courtesy of UPS.

KK (so many stories, so few that care)

now this one gives me the creepy crawlies.

Homeowner wonders how snakes fell out of her faucet

She insists they did, but utility officials say no. "It's impossible for snakes to come out of a faucet. It's deliberately a completely enclosed system from end to end," says one. (Palm Beach Post)

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Good morning Maniacs

Best Mom Ever
An update on one of our favorite stories the news is the ongoing saga of Silvia Johnson, the self appointed "Cool Mom" of Golden, Colorado, who admitted in court to s*x parties for young teens, providing them with drugs and alcohol, and joining in on the flagrante delicto.
Silvia was supposed to find out on Monday whether or not she was to serve up to 58 years in prison on multiple counts, when she was involved in an automobile crash. Making the incident all the more interesting was the fact that the car was filled with young teenagers, including the 14 year old driver.
Her sentencing was delaying pending an investigation.


Another GREAT BIG DUH!!
KK

These are great!! Love reading them.

lol

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glad to hear it, elaine. here's another one...

Woman runs over herself during dispute with police

The 63-year-old woman tried to run over a sheriff's deputy, but ended up running over herself. "I can't explain it. It just happened too fast," she says. "When you get angry, upset, that's just how fast things can happen before you even know it." (News4Jax.com)

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A couple of weeks ago I saw on the local news that a young man (19) went into a Kroeger Grocery Store and held up a branch of a bank there. As he was loading the cash the teller handed him into his pockets he put his cell phone on the counter, turned and walked out leaving the cell phone behind. Of course he was caught via the cell phone. Dumb or what????

thanks gina! that's what we're talking about. this can be a really fun thread because it's fun, it's interesting, and no one really gets hurt. if you follow the link i always provide, it takes you to the real article.

here's one to continue the day...

Vehicles have crashed into woman's home seven times in 11 years

She says of the latest crash: "I was just laying there thinking about how many times the house has been hit, I swear. And then I heard it. Am I psychic or what?" (TampaBay.com)

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Good Thursday All. Thursday, from the ancient Germanic, thonaras daga, which of course means 'thirsty day'. One more day 'till FRIDAY!



Mocked As A Child or By A Child
The internet isn't just for porn and the ordering of "size-related" supplements (I mean, it obviously is, but let's just pretend it's not for the sake of argument) These days, kids are using that internet to poke gentle fun at their teachers, like 15-year-old Alex Davis.
Alex created a webpage on MySpace, and pretended he was Robert Muzzillo, a teacher at his school. The page insinuated a fondness for Michael Jackson, midget wrestling, and being attacked by an alligator (sounds like just another night in Fort Lauderdale) The page was discovered; the teen was suspended for three days.
Case closed ? Lesson learned ? Au contraire. This being America and all, Muzzillo then proceeded to file a lawsuit, alleging "criminal defamation of character" (apparently, the concept of "taking a joke" never occurred to him)
"This has all gotten kinda bizarre," said the teen's father.
http://www.wesh.com/education/9223824/detail.html

KK (To some, thursday doesn't mean thirsty day. It just sounds funnier than 'Thor's dag')

TGIF: Thank God it's Finallyover (the week)

Botox for kids?
In Canada, Dr. Sam Daniel of McGill University has discovered a way to stop the excessive drooling of a young boy; Botox injections directly into the neck.
"After having two Botox injections, [the boy] went from wearing four bibs a day to one bib a day." Excessive drooling can be caused by conditions such as Cerebral Palsy or Charge Syndrome.
Ironically, Botox is traditionally used in the United States to make women appear more attractive, thus promoting increased drooling from men. More proof that Canada is a backwards little country, unworthy of statehood.
Botox being used for children with excessive drooling

KK

Here's one for the road!

Girl Scouts Gone Wild !!
In Skowhegan, Maine (long known for it's clever "Show Me Your Hegans" t-shirts) a 43-year-old woman is facing assault charges after helping her 12 year old daughter and two of her classmates bake cookies laced with laxatives, then giving them to their teacher.
The mother, 43-year-old Julie Hunt, showed the girls how to grind up an entire box of laxatives and stir them into the cookie batter, then helped them write a note that read "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them." The plot was discovered after the principal heard two of the girls discussing the incident.
None of the girls have been charged for their involvement, but they've all been suspended. And you gotta figure that their teacher is going to be giving them a lot of shit when they return.
http://beta.abc3340.com/news/stories/0506/326399.html

KK

Great weekend all

When being on TV is not a good thing
Ahhhh, the hectic life of the everyday working mom. What with that career, planning nutritious meals for the family, shopping for shoes, etc, a mother just doesn't have the time she used to for "quality time" with the kids. That's where the two greatest words in a mothers lexicon come in - "Daycare" and "Grandma" Both can help out, look after the children and prevent that eventual visit from child protective services.
That's what a woman in Omaha, Nebraska thought when she gave her baby to Grandma, with strict instructions to drop the child off at daycare. Granny seemed to be in a hurry, so she drove up to the home, handed the baby and a diaper bag to the woman who answered the door, and drove off. One problem...it was the wrong house.
Later afternoon, Mom was enjoying some "quiet time" when she happened to notice her baby's picture on the news. A quick trip to foster care later (followed by some explanations) and the child was retuned. Police don't plan to file charges, since the whole incident was a "misunderstanding" and being "stupid" isn't apparently a crime in Nebraska.

KK

i had trouble just picking one today there were so many good ones...

Dad says school updated dress code to ban jeans he bought

Tom Mulready claims his daughters' junior high school updated its dress code this week to ban the two-toned jeans he bought for his girls at Target. The revised code says jeans can’t be washed in a way to make any area faded or lighter in color -- because, of course, that gets in the way of education. (TCPalm.com)

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double your pleasure today...don't forget to click on the links i always supply for the rest of the story or the 'extra story'.

Man stabs brother during fight over Hot Pocket sandwich

The victim told police the two began fighting over who got to eat the Hot Pocket. The younger brother grabbed a steak knife off the kitchen counter and stabbed at his brother while the microwave sandwich cooled. (South Bend Tribune | Jim Gaffigan's bit on Hot Pockets)

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Good Sunny Sunday

Ha-Ha !! Being Smart Gains You Nothing !
Four bus loads of the smartest damn kids O'Brien Middle School had to offer were sent from Reno, Nevada, to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, California (which, just so you know, is a totally crappy amusement park that screams "animal rights violations") as a reward for their academic accomplishments.
Unfortunately, the students soon realized what sort of adults are picked to teach middle school in Reno, Nevada; when they arrived at the park, they discovered that it was "closed"
There you go, smart kids...forced to spend the day with dumb adults, and now you can't even visit "Shitzu - The Diabetic Whale"
Home - San Jose Mercury News
KK

happy sunny sunday back at you and everyone else this morning.

and we wonder why the nation needs bailing out. click on the link for the resto of the story...

Inmate forced to sleep on moldy mattress awarded $295,000

It was wet, too. A jury said the mattress was so unsanitary that it denied the inmate "the minimal civilized measure of life's necessities." The lawyer says his client's 11-year-old daughter will benefit from the big award. (Wisconsin State Journal)

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Monday morning and it's still DARK!!

No One Liked The Fat Kid
Three teenagers who tied a 13 year old boy to a tree, placed a monkey mask over his face, set him on fire, and filmed the entire assault their camera phones, will "not" be prosecuted because they were of "previous good character"
"I am absolutely disgusted and really angry and annoyed about it...Kyle could have been burned alive" said the victim's mother.
You have to love that wacky British sense of humor; you can beat up a kid, set him on fire, record the evidence, and confess to the police...but it's all okay because you didn't...kill anyone in the past six months.
Fury as Happy Slap gang go free - News - Manchester Evening News

KK

Police: Knives Thrown During Marriage Proposal Fight





TBO.com
Published: September 21, 2008
HOLIDAY - A Pasco County woman was in jail Sunday charged with aggravated domestic battery.
Her live-in boyfriend called police to the couple's Castile Lane home during an argument Saturday evening. The victim, Bruce Montle, told sheriff's deputies the argument with Celeste Irene Lagrant, 39, started over a marriage proposal.
Montle told investigators that Lagrant slapped, punched and scratched at him. She also threw several knives at him, he said.

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