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Old Saturday, April 10th, 2010, 07:55 AM
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Default Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

This is from the dutch amigoe article. Again - english translation is not great but you can
get the general idea. 11 fatalities for Aruba is high.

Eleventh fatality after collision with bus
9 Apr, 2010, 14:21 (GMT -04:00)
April 9, 2010, 14:21 (GMT -04:00)

ORANJESTAD - The 30-year-old Reginald Eugene Evertsz Danny's deceased last night after a heavy crash in Pos Chiquito. He crashed his car against the back of a bus. The man was seriously injured in the wreck freed and rushed to the hospital. Here he died shortly afterwards.

The police suspect that high speed in combination with alcohol and not wearing a seat belt contributed to the fatal outcome of the accident. It is probably the second fatality in one day. Died yesterday, Rafael Nadal (88) in the hospital. Nadal was hit by a caron March 23 in Bolivia Street. He had with serious injuries, reportedly a broken hip in the hospital and had surgery. Nadal probably died of complications from his injuries. The body was seized by the Public Research. It should show whether Nadal can be regarded as a fatality. If this is the case then the total number of fatalities in 2010 with these new victims at eleven.
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Last edited by lizzardo; Saturday, April 10th, 2010 at 08:00 AM. Reason: trying to correct translation!
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Old Sunday, April 11th, 2010, 10:11 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Liz, how very, very sad! I often think of the large thermometer (indicating fatalities) by the police station------at one time one could go an entire year with no movemement on the thermometer. Now look at it!! It is getting increasingly dangerous driving in Aruba.
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Old Monday, April 12th, 2010, 08:20 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

We can remember seeing "10" on the "thermometer" in September.
That was bad for a small island.
"11" in about 100 days is outrageous...and sad.
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 11:40 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Looks to be maybe another one this morning...
ATV and Red p/u with the driver being detained by police(influencia di alcohol).

24ora.com - Prome den Noticia - Aruba a conoce e di 12 morto den trafico






Looks to be a cruise pass. set out for an ATV tour this morning...

http://www.diario.aw/2010/04/acciden...rista-crusero/

Last edited by arubanut; Friday, April 16th, 2010 at 11:58 AM.
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 12:24 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

It appears they were here on a cruise ship and decided to adventure alone without a tour group. The male driver was killed upon impact of the windshield of the truck and the girl on the back lived but appears to have broken bones. Hip I believe. This is my loose translation from Diario. The driver took a breathlyzer and the test came back unfavorable. Didn't say whether they were wearing helmets or not, but I believe the law here is , that a vehicle with anything more than 2 wheels is not considered a motorcycle so a helmet is not required. I could be wrong but this is what I been have told locally. Just a bad tragedy all around. If you have never been here before, take a guided tour first. Then rent and go on your own if you are 100% confident in your abilities to drive here. My sympathy to those involved.

Last edited by jawz; Friday, April 16th, 2010 at 12:26 PM. Reason: Wording/spelling
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 12:50 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

This is once again very sad.
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 01:00 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

There are pictures of the accident in this paper, and it appears the driver of the truck is being arrested.

Click here: E Informante Aruba - www.einformante.com
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 01:30 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

horrible and sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jawz View Post
It appears they were here on a cruise ship and decided to adventure alone without a tour group. The male driver was killed upon impact of the windshield of the truck and the girl on the back lived but appears to have broken bones. Hip I believe. This is my loose translation from Diario. The driver took a breathlyzer and the test came back unfavorable. Didn't say whether they were wearing helmets or not, but I believe the law here is , that a vehicle with anything more than 2 wheels is not considered a motorcycle so a helmet is not required. I could be wrong but this is what I been have told locally. Just a bad tragedy all around. If you have never been here before, take a guided tour first. Then rent and go on your own if you are 100% confident in your abilities to drive here. My sympathy to those involved.
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 02:08 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Caution

Many pictures here...


Aruba ta conoce su di 12 morto den trafico dilanti Teak House ( CU VIDEO )
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Old Friday, April 16th, 2010, 08:37 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Oh my God, this is so sad. Sympathies all around..
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Old Sunday, April 18th, 2010, 08:50 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Just an update about the accident near the teak house. They
air ambulanced the girlfriend back to Canada. I know she
had a lot of broken bones and poss. internal injuries.

I wish her the best. What a terrible tragedy!
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Old Tuesday, April 20th, 2010, 04:48 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

The drivers on the atv were hit by a pick up truck of a drunk driver that swerved out to pass a vehicle and slammed head on into the atv. The husband of 3 was killed, his wife is in critical condition and home in Canada. A very sad day!
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Old Tuesday, April 20th, 2010, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

this is a horrible and sad thing. there are no words that can express how sad and angry i am about this.

my personal opinion about drunk drivers is that from the first time they should face stiff penalties. if we don't finally stop treating it as a simple misdemeanor we will never stop it. it has to be stopped!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadincanada View Post
The drivers on the atv were hit by a pick up truck of a drunk driver that swerved out to pass a vehicle and slammed head on into the atv. The husband of 3 was killed, his wife is in critical condition and home in Canada. A very sad day!
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Old Tuesday, April 20th, 2010, 05:15 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

That is the truth, I am angry also! Three small children will never know their dad because this idiot was driving drunk at 9am! It is devestating and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

There needs to be stricter laws and penalties no matter where you are on the globe! When will people learn?!
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Old Tuesday, April 20th, 2010, 05:21 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

sad, people obviously are not learning. they don't learn in the states, in canada, in aruba, or anywhere else without punishments that take away freedom. i hear people complain when told no hand held cells, and no drinking, and no map reading, etc. do people not understand that driving is not a 'right'? it is a privilege and as such can and should be regulated and controlled to protect the public from those who don't care. remember everyone, a driver's license must be earned. you don't have a right to one unless you earn it and follow the laws set down by your communities.

personally, i think any drunk driver that is involved in a fatal 'accident' should be tried for murder. it isn't an 'accident' when you get behind the wheel drunk. it is an indifferent act of violence.

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Originally Posted by sadincanada View Post
That is the truth, I am angry also! Three small children will never know their dad because this idiot was driving drunk at 9am! It is devestating and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

There needs to be stricter laws and penalties no matter where you are on the globe! When will people learn?!
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Old Tuesday, April 20th, 2010, 06:41 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Sherry, I am so with you on treating this as a serious crime. And I know we all probably have similar stories, sadly too many of us. About a year ago, a good friend of mine lost her 2 nieces when they were run off the road by a drunk driver. These 2 girls were cousins, on college break heading home to see their families. And how these families are suffering still. The drunk driver ended up in the hospital, but these 2 beautiful girls were gone. A year later, they are still "investigating", the drunk driver recovered nicely from his injuries, went back to school, and had his license suspended for 6 months. What on earth could they be investigating? Shouldn't he have been charged with something like manslaughter? How can he still be out there driving? In my eyes, drunk driving is like attempted murder. They are taking chances with all our lives whenever they get behind the wheel. How can we seriously expect to eliminate or even reduce drunk driving if we don't treat it like a serious crime?
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Old Monday, May 10th, 2010, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadincanada View Post
That is the truth, I am angry also! Three small children will never know their dad because this idiot was driving drunk at 9am! It is devestating and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

There needs to be stricter laws and penalties no matter where you are on the globe! When will people learn?!
I could not agree with you more...I am a good friend of Christine and Tom Norman...the people in the horrible accident that forever changed my friend's lives...
Christine's 3 little boys, ages 2,4 and 6, idolized their dad, and Tom loved his kids more than you could ever imagine...needless to say they are not doing well the fact that their daddy is not coming home ever again...Christine is still in the hospital, and will be for a number of months, and who knows what she will be able to do after all of this! The ironic thing of all of this is that since it was a drunk driver, there are no support services for her, as generally in Canada all of that gets settled through insurance...so she has nothing...nada! Makes you sick, doesn't it??
If you are interested in knowing more about them, there is a good article about them from a local paper, here is the link:
Education For The Driving Masses: London family shattered by death of Tom Norman in Aruba

I am absolutely heartbroken...I have always thought the sentencing was too light for drunk driving, and now, I have a fire in my belly...this is too close now! Especially the fact that she will have to lose her home, and her boys will be losing the security they have known...and why? Because someone decided to be a selfish...well, you know where I am going with this...
Christine lost her best friend, the boys have lost the most amazing dad, and now she will be losing her home...all because of an idiot who cannot take ownership of their life...sorry...still very angry!

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that there is far more to this story then just a man died on April 16, 2010...my heart died that day too...
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Old Monday, May 10th, 2010, 06:38 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

melwell, we have this along with several other links along with a link to the trust fund that has been established for the family in case anyone who is a member wishes to help by contributing. the thread that has the info is:

http://bb.visitaruba.com/f2/do-you-w...479/#post99324

my heart is there with you. we have lost people we care about to drunk drivers. i personally think the sentence for someone who drives drunk and kills should be for first degree murder. accidents happen but drunk driving isn't an accident.

Quote:
Originally Posted by melwall View Post
I could not agree with you more...I am a good friend of Christine and Tom Norman...the people in the horrible accident that forever changed my friend's lives...
Christine's 3 little boys, ages 2,4 and 6, idolized their dad, and Tom loved his kids more than you could ever imagine...needless to say they are not doing well the fact that their daddy is not coming home ever again...Christine is still in the hospital, and will be for a number of months, and who knows what she will be able to do after all of this! The ironic thing of all of this is that since it was a drunk driver, there are no support services for her, as generally in Canada all of that gets settled through insurance...so she has nothing...nada! Makes you sick, doesn't it??
If you are interested in knowing more about them, there is a good article about them from a local paper, here is the link:
Education For The Driving Masses: London family shattered by death of Tom Norman in Aruba

I am absolutely heartbroken...I have always thought the sentencing was too light for drunk driving, and now, I have a fire in my belly...this is too close now! Especially the fact that she will have to lose her home, and her boys will be losing the security they have known...and why? Because someone decided to be a selfish...well, you know where I am going with this...
Christine lost her best friend, the boys have lost the most amazing dad, and now she will be losing her home...all because of an idiot who cannot take ownership of their life...sorry...still very angry!

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that there is far more to this story then just a man died on April 16, 2010...my heart died that day too...
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Old Monday, May 10th, 2010, 08:25 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Quote:
Originally Posted by sherry View Post
melwell, we have this along with several other links along with a link to the trust fund that has been established for the family in case anyone who is a member wishes to help by contributing. the thread that has the info is:

http://bb.visitaruba.com/f2/do-you-w...479/#post99324

my heart is there with you. we have lost people we care about to drunk drivers. i personally think the sentence for someone who drives drunk and kills should be for first degree murder. accidents happen but drunk driving isn't an accident.
Oh Sherry, I could not agree more! When will the court system learn? When will people stop making such incredibly selfish and horrible mistakes?
I have known Christine for over 18 years...and the effect on her spiritually as well as physically...well, I am sure you know what it is like...
I agree...there needs to be change, and there needs to be change in regards to comensation for persons where this type of tragedy happens out of their country...it is astounding to me!

Sorry...ranting again...

Thank you for the link...it is much appreciated!
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Old Friday, June 18th, 2010, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Happy June to all of you! Hope your lives are doing well...

Just an update on Christine for the persons who are wanting to know...she is currently out of the hospital, and will not have to return for another 3 months, as then she is going back to get her hips replaced...of course, one at a time...
But she is able to use a walker and has her family to take care of the boys while she is on the mend...amen to families!

It has been really hard for her...on one hand, she is home! On the other hand...the reality that Tom is no longer there is too real now...
Trent, her middle boy, saw that she was in her bedroom closet, as she and Tom's clothes were hanging together in there...so she was crying. Trent told his mom to cheer her up "Are you sad because you are missing daddy?" Christine replied "Yes Trent, mommy is sad right now..." in which Trent replied "When I get sad about daddy not being here anymore, I come to your room and kiss the sleeves of his shirt...like this!" This of course was followed by Trent taking the sleeve of one of Tom's shirts and kissing the sleeve...

These stories she tells me, and it kills me...however, as another person said...one day, with all the ups and downs, there will be more ups than downs...when that will happen...who will know?

She is still facing losing her house, but she was able to sell their vacation trailer, and that killed the boys to sell that, as that was what they did was go to the Cape every summer as a family...but when facing the prospect that the trailer will pay for another 2 months of the mortgage...the tough decision is no longer tough...

So amazing progress for my wonderful friend, however, amazing pain as well...she has now been home for 2 days, and please pray that she gets through this...please also pass along the word to others, so we can make sure that she does not have to lose her home because of this...

Thanks all! I'll keep you updated as things progress with her!

Talk soon,

Melissa
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Old Friday, June 18th, 2010, 11:08 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Thanks for the update, Mel. I see on the Norman website that there have been fundraisers that I hope are helping.

Hopefully, some of us helped make things a little easier, too.

Please keep us in the loop, and make sure to let Christine know we're pulling for her.

You're a wonderful friend.
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 11:14 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elaine S View Post
Thanks for the update, Mel. I see on the Norman website that there have been fundraisers that I hope are helping.

Hopefully, some of us helped make things a little easier, too.

Please keep us in the loop, and make sure to let Christine know we're pulling for her.

You're a wonderful friend.
Hello Elaine!

I am so hoping the fundraiser goes well also! It is going to be tomorrow, and is being done in her hometown of Sault Ste. Marie...it is a small town, and god love them, they are all really rooting for her to get over the craziness of this all...I guess I just keep hoping that one day I will call her and that all her heartache and pain will be gone...you think that will happen?? Yeah...I am only dreaming, I know!
As far as you donating...please know that you are so appreciated for that! I know that one of these days, Christine will be able to write on her blog, and send thank yous to all of you amazing folks who have donated...however, she is just not there...it takes all of her strength to get up in the mornings sometimes...and as she said, she knows she has to get out of this depression for her boys...but right now, it is almost too overwhelming...what has to be done...so please stay tuned...I know she will be saying thank you when she can...as I know, and she knows that without you and the rest of the folks who have cared so much about her and the boys, it would be so much worse! So thank you Elaine...you are wonderful, and please know how much your donation has helped!

As mentioned, I will keep all posted about Christine...I will certainly keep you posted about how she is doing...both physically, as well as emotionally...

Take care, and talk soon!

Melissa
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 11:33 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Has Christine or any family member been contacted by the police or other legal person connected with the driver. I guess what I am asking is-any word on what happened to the driver?
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 11:38 AM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Mel... as to your question:
"I guess I just keep hoping that one day I will call her and that all her heartache and pain will be gone...you think that will happen?? Yeah...I am only dreaming, I know!"

There isn't a quick fix, and everybody grieves differently. I just turned 51 when my husband died, and it took a very long time for the abnormal to become the normal. I didn't have little children; and, although I was physically well unlike Christine, emotionally I was a basket case; my daughter was 22, and had just graduated from college.

People said the silliest things to me, but in retrospect, I know they meant well. I didn't hear, "you're young, you'll get married again," once, I heard it a million times.

We are resilient... and, Christine will be, too. She has three young sons to give her a purpose in life. That's where I had a rough time because all I knew was being a wife and Mom, and my daughter was at the point in life where I thought she really didn't need mothering. I was wrong... she needed it even more.

So, in answer to your question, the heartache and pain will always be there, but it won't be as tough as it is right now at this moment. As a very smart person said to me... there are days you're almost at the top of the hill, and days you slide right back down to the bottom, but you'll climb again, and ultimately you'll reach the top, and stay there... that open wound in your heart will hurt like hell, but the crack will become a scar, and although it's always there... you mend.

Love to Christine and the children...







Quote:
Originally Posted by melwall View Post
Hello Elaine!

I am so hoping the fundraiser goes well also! It is going to be tomorrow, and is being done in her hometown of Sault Ste. Marie...it is a small town, and god love them, they are all really rooting for her to get over the craziness of this all...I guess I just keep hoping that one day I will call her and that all her heartache and pain will be gone...you think that will happen?? Yeah...I am only dreaming, I know!
As far as you donating...please know that you are so appreciated for that! I know that one of these days, Christine will be able to write on her blog, and send thank yous to all of you amazing folks who have donated...however, she is just not there...it takes all of her strength to get up in the mornings sometimes...and as she said, she knows she has to get out of this depression for her boys...but right now, it is almost too overwhelming...what has to be done...so please stay tuned...I know she will be saying thank you when she can...as I know, and she knows that without you and the rest of the folks who have cared so much about her and the boys, it would be so much worse! So thank you Elaine...you are wonderful, and please know how much your donation has helped!

As mentioned, I will keep all posted about Christine...I will certainly keep you posted about how she is doing...both physically, as well as emotionally...

Take care, and talk soon!

Melissa
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 12:01 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Elaine-that is a very nice post-came right from the heart. I'm glad you are able to share and sad that you know this from "being there"

You should write an inspirational book.
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 03:41 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elaine S View Post
Mel... as to your question:
"I guess I just keep hoping that one day I will call her and that all her heartache and pain will be gone...you think that will happen?? Yeah...I am only dreaming, I know!"

There isn't a quick fix, and everybody grieves differently. I just turned 51 when my husband died, and it took a very long time for the abnormal to become the normal. I didn't have little children; and, although I was physically well unlike Christine, emotionally I was a basket case; my daughter was 22, and had just graduated from college.

People said the silliest things to me, but in retrospect, I know they meant well. I didn't hear, "you're young, you'll get married again," once, I heard it a million times.

We are resilient... and, Christine will be, too. She has three young sons to give her a purpose in life. That's where I had a rough time because all I knew was being a wife and Mom, and my daughter was at the point in life where I thought she really didn't need mothering. I was wrong... she needed it even more.

So, in answer to your question, the heartache and pain will always be there, but it won't be as tough as it is right now at this moment. As a very smart person said to me... there are days you're almost at the top of the hill, and days you slide right back down to the bottom, but you'll climb again, and ultimately you'll reach the top, and stay there... that open wound in your heart will hurt like hell, but the crack will become a scar, and although it's always there... you mend.

Love to Christine and the children...


Wow! Thank you for your amazing post Elaine...you are an amazing person! If it is ok, can I cut and paste that onto the Norman Family website? I know that even though Christine has only had the emotional energy to post one reply on there...I think it would be really beneficial to put that on there for her...as mentioned...only if you allow this!
I also agree with 150% of every one of your words...I too went through a very rough patch in my life regarding the death of a loved one, and you are exactly right...for some reason, I guess because you don't want your friends or family to suffer...I just wish all of this could go away for her and her boys...but as you mentioned...one day things will become more normal again...and yes, children are resilient...however, Christine is so guiltily obsessed with the fact that she was not able to tell her boys herself about Tom (she was at the hospital in Aruba at that time), and she is still carrying this insane amount of guilt because of this...the anger she has that her boys will not be able to know anymore, how amazing their daddy was...and that they no longer have the opportunity to know this, and grow with him...I also wish that beyond anything else...
I told her in our last conversation that her and I were both raised by strong, amazing women only...and look how we turned out! This way she can understand that it is important the love from a dad, but even more important the love from the mom...in other words...the boys will live with lots of love, as she is an amazing mom, and her family ties are strong...

But again, thank you Elaine...please let me know if I am allowed to place that on her website, ok?

Lots of love, and talk soon!

Melissa
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 03:58 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Of course you may copy and paste, Mel.

Make no mistake about it... I still have a lot of anger at times, and pity party's with the "why me?"

And, it still bothers me when someone who isn't and hasn't been in the same situation gives me advice about how I should feel, and what I should do. In my mind I'm saying... "you don't have a clue."

I hope Christine knows what a good friend you are. That was another issue for me, and still remains an issue today. It's a couple's world, and as time went by, very slowly, "our/my" friends grew more and more distant, and I'd hear from them less and less. I couldn't figure out if it was a "there for the grace of G-d go I or third wheel" kind of thing. I used my anger like someone uses a shield so it would hurt less. In fact, the end of last year I heard that a spouse of one of our friends died... hadn't heard from them in a long time. My first reaction was..."now you'll see what it's like." Then I felt sorry for her, and sent a card telling her that if she needed to talk, I was here for her. Never heard back.

Keep being there for her, Christine. She needs the love and support of her family and friends, and it sounds like she has a lot of both.
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 04:03 PM
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Has Christine or any family member been contacted by the police or other legal person connected with the driver. I guess what I am asking is-any word on what happened to the driver?
Hi there Lynn,

The last time I was speaking to Sally Norman (Tom's mom), they were still looking into legal action against the driver, he is apparently going to have his hearing regarding the unlawful death of Tom heard this August. The really good thing was that the police that showed up actually brought drug dogs from what I know, and that is how they found the drugs in the truck. They also did a breathalizer (which is also great, according to some people) and of course, the guy failed the breathalizer...so he was under the influence regarding alcohol, as well as drugs allegedly...he was immediately carted off to jail immediately after...
At this point, the lawyer who is also working with an Aruban lawyer is doubtful that monies will be able to be given, due to the laws in Aruba, however, the family is still praying that at least enough might come of it at some point in Christine and the boys life that is might make things a bit better...they are praying for that, however, not expecting it...
If/when the guy who hit and killed Tom is sentenced, they are hoping for at least 4 years for him...and as Aquaman said to me, he is hoping he gets put in the jail there that is not a good place to be! So, here is to hoping that one day, this idiot will learn that what he did destroyed Tom, Christine, and the boy's lives, and also his wife's and possibly his children, if he had any...again...when do drunks learn??!!?

I will follow up with Sally to see if there is any more progress regarding the driver, and let you know the scoop when she does...
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 04:47 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

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Of course you may copy and paste, Mel.

Make no mistake about it... I still have a lot of anger at times, and pity party's with the "why me?"

And, it still bothers me when someone who isn't and hasn't been in the same situation gives me advice about how I should feel, and what I should do. In my mind I'm saying... "you don't have a clue."

I hope Christine knows what a good friend you are. That was another issue for me, and still remains an issue today. It's a couple's world, and as time went by, very slowly, "our/my" friends grew more and more distant, and I'd hear from them less and less. I couldn't figure out if it was a "there for the grace of G-d go I or third wheel" kind of thing. I used my anger like someone uses a shield so it would hurt less. In fact, the end of last year I heard that a spouse of one of our friends died... hadn't heard from them in a long time. My first reaction was..."now you'll see what it's like." Then I felt sorry for her, and sent a card telling her that if she needed to talk, I was here for her. Never heard back.

Keep being there for her, Christine. She needs the love and support of her family and friends, and it sounds like she has a lot of both.
Thanks for letting me copy and paste that to the site Elaine! I appreciate it!
I have even found myself thinking about things...it is amazing what shakes up when this situation happens...
I remember I could not sit in the front row of the funeral...I could not sit with the rest of the family...I had to sit with one of my friends a few rows back...I was not ready to deal, to say goodbye...people were so upset at me for this, and on one hand, I can understand that...on the other...how dare you?! Grief is an incredible thing...I cannot even pretend, nor do I want to, ever imagine what others go through...all I can do is be there for her...listen to her when she needs to cry, let her be sad, and let her be happy...whatever she needs...
I do not live near her at the moment, she is in the East of Canada, and I am in the West...so this is how I have been able to help her...is by talking to her every other day, and to do whatever I can to let her know that she is not alone...she is alone in the fact that it is her, Trent, Cole, and Reed solely going through this...but not alone in the fact that also Tom's family, Christine's family...other families have also gone through this similar situation.
Once she is feeling up to it, and of course, can get to it, she is going to start going to a Widow's support group...she thinks this might help, as well as MADD contacted her when I contacted them with information regarding support services for Christine...so she might look in to that as well...

As far as the anger goes...I too can understand, as well as Christine for sure! The same cookie cutter replies and responses...however, I think it is just...people in many respects don't know what to do with persons who are in real pain...they are afraid to offend, or delve too deep into the person's pain...as sometimes maybe it will make them realize the losses they have endured themselves in the past? And the third wheel...that is when you find a wonderful group of women who have gone through it, been there, and are moving on! I found an amazing group like that just by googling a meetup group in my area, and it changed my life...as there is hope out there, just not necessarily in the places where we used to once think it was...at least, that is what helped me out...
As mentioned...I guess this has been a really strange journey to be on, as because I have felt the pain of a life altering death...and the incredible anger, resentment, happiness, followed by more pain...how can one of the persons you think of like a sister, bear to think that she now has to go through this?? Her young boys too? Tom's mom, his sisters, his identical twin brother?? So much pain...and I know that this is what life is about, but it still sucks!
Well, I am so hoping that one day when Christine is feeling she is able to, she will be able to place her thoughts like these on her website, so people like yourself, like her, like so many others, can openly discuss what this does to us...she said she wants to do that, but when, who will know, and as mentioned, it is not for me to tell her when...
Thank you Elaine...you have been so amazingly open about this...and I thank you for that! If I am allowed to ask, how are you doing now overall?

Thanks again for the wonderful open discussion...it is so appreciated
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Old Saturday, June 19th, 2010, 06:13 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

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If I am allowed to ask, how are you doing now overall? Thanks again for the wonderful open discussion...it is so appreciated
Mel... I'm doing fantastically well! It's been a long time for me, over 15 years.
I have a whole new life, mostly all new friends, a great daughter, and wonderful family, albeit small.

People didn't want to talk about my husband thinking it hurt me too much, but it was just the opposite. I wanted to talk about him.. and, nobody let me!!! I finally told everyone how I felt, and how it was a catharsis for me to be able to talk about not only the good times, but the bad times, too.

There have been many chapters to get where I am... but, I'm in a good place now. I've often said how lucky I am to have had a great marriage for 31 years; a love that not a lot of people are fortunate enough to experience. I've also stopped knighting my husband as a saint and perfect. lol

I don't take things for granted like I once did, and try not to blow the little things in life out of proportion, and make them monumental.

I've learned what a strong and independent person I am.. I never knew that about myself because I always had a spring board, and if I made a mistake or fell down, I knew Bob was there to rescue me or pick me up or make me look good!!

While Aruba was where Christine's nightmare began, Aruba was my solace. I was invited there by my brother 3 months after Bob died, and I found a peace there that really started the healing process. It still is my solace, and where I feel most at peace. I've made wonderful cherished friends through this forum... Arubans as well as Aruba lovers. How great is that!!

Life is good.




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Old Sunday, June 20th, 2010, 11:07 AM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

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Hi there Lynn,

... he is apparently going to have his hearing regarding the unlawful death of Tom heard this August. The really good thing was that the police that showed up actually brought drug dogs from what I know, and that is how they found the drugs in the truck. They also did a breathalizer (which is also great, according to some people)...

...If/when the guy who hit and killed Tom is sentenced, they are hoping for at least 4 years for him...and as Aquaman said to me, he is hoping he gets put in the jail there that is not a good place to be! So, here is to hoping that one day, this idiot will learn that what he did destroyed Tom, Christine, and the boy's lives...
Yes the police did a good job with this case.Seems like they have a lot against this guy.

Hope justice will be served at his sentence.



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Old Sunday, June 20th, 2010, 04:25 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

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Yes the police did a good job with this case.Seems like they have a lot against this guy.

Hope justice will be served at his sentence.



I could not agree more! Of course, anytime there is a death in a foreign country, the dynamics change dramatically...so here is to praying to the lawsuit gods that some justice comes of this!
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Old Sunday, June 20th, 2010, 04:42 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

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Mel... I'm doing fantastically well! It's been a long time for me, over 15 years.
I have a whole new life, mostly all new friends, a great daughter, and wonderful family, albeit small.

People didn't want to talk about my husband thinking it hurt me too much, but it was just the opposite. I wanted to talk about him.. and, nobody let me!!! I finally told everyone how I felt, and how it was a catharsis for me to be able to talk about not only the good times, but the bad times, too.

There have been many chapters to get where I am... but, I'm in a good place now. I've often said how lucky I am to have had a great marriage for 31 years; a love that not a lot of people are fortunate enough to experience. I've also stopped knighting my husband as a saint and perfect. lol

I don't take things for granted like I once did, and try not to blow the little things in life out of proportion, and make them monumental.

I've learned what a strong and independent person I am.. I never knew that about myself because I always had a spring board, and if I made a mistake or fell down, I knew Bob was there to rescue me or pick me up or make me look good!!

While Aruba was where Christine's nightmare began, Aruba was my solace. I was invited there by my brother 3 months after Bob died, and I found a peace there that really started the healing process. It still is my solace, and where I feel most at peace. I've made wonderful cherished friends through this forum... Arubans as well as Aruba lovers. How great is that!!

Life is good.



Hello Elaine!

I know that Christine herself does not hold any bad feelings towards Aruba itself...it is just unfortunate that such an incredible place will have that painful exclamation point where Christine is concerned...maybe in many years to come, she will be able to go back to Aruba, and find the beauty and solace her and Tom were planning on finding that day...only time can determine that...
I also know that one day, she will find her solace...wherever that may be...who knows, in the far future, maybe her boys will want to see where their father took their last step, and they too will find that Aruba has healing powers for them as well...you have no idea how much I hope this!
I too found a place that feeds my soul, so much so that I moved here, and I know like yourself...it is a needed place to be! I am so glad you shared your time, your thoughts, and your life with me, and as mentioned, I put it on Christine's webpage...I talked to her this morning, and she started to cry at the beautiful comment you made, so thank you, as today is going to be a day of a lot of pain for her and Cole, Trent, and Reed...they boys made Tom a father's day card, and they are having a little food and talking a lot about him today...she is finding that even yesterday, she told the boys that her "tummy was a little sore" so she wanted to lie down for a little bit, so they hovered around the doorway, just to make sure she was indeed ok. and that she was not going away as well...they are a little skitterish about that still...but again, things as you said will start to become "normal" and then that will be how it is, until of course the hip surgeries...but even then...
I think these little guys have had to age about 10 years each! It will be amazing to see how they are doing next time I see them...how much they have had to take on over the past few months...they are truly amazing, adorable, wonderful little guys...she is really lucky to have them!
Well, again...happy fathers day to all of you, and have a wonderful day!
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Old Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010, 08:52 PM
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Smile Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Hello again to all of you! I hope life is treating you well!

I wanted to give you an update on the progress regarding the website set up for the Norman family...so far, it has raised almost $3000 CAD to help their future!

I just wanted to let you know this, as all of your efforts, prayers, and donations do not go unnoticed...you are all kind, wonderful people, and even though Christine is not yet there to reach out to people, she knows your kindness, and it has truly helped her...there is no doubt on that!

Again, please know you are helping them with their future, and whatever, however you have helped and can help...you are amazing people...thank you!

Lots of love,

Melissa
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Old Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010, 09:59 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Everytime I read an update or see the pictures that are posted I sit and cry.I wish I could do more than cry and pray for Christine,the boys and their family and friends. I can't remember when I have ever been so touched by a family that are strangers to me. I feel like I know them and want to hug each one and tell them it will all be OK-when I know it won't.

Elaine-I admire your strength. You are a special lady to be able to share your story. My very good friends husband passed away 5 mo. ago. She is having a difficult time so I printed out your posts and will give them to her when we meet for breakfast next week.
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Old Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010, 10:30 PM
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I Love Aruba Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Lynn... thank you, and I'm humbled that you will share what I've said with your friend. As one woman told me long ago...we widows are a sorority that none of us ever wanted to join.

She's allowed to be sad, and she's allowed to be have a hard time; it's a hard place to be. Let her talk, and let her know that whether or not she needs you, you're always there to listen. And, if there's anything that I can do or say to help, I'd be more than happy to.




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Everytime I read an update or see the pictures that are posted I sit and cry.I wish I could do more than cry and pray for Christine,the boys and their family and friends. I can't remember when I have ever been so touched by a family that are strangers to me. I feel like I know them and want to hug each one and tell them it will all be OK-when I know it won't.

Elaine-I admire your strength. You are a special lady to be able to share your story. My very good friends husband passed away 5 mo. ago. She is having a difficult time so I printed out your posts and will give them to her when we meet for breakfast next week.
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Old Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010, 12:27 AM
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Oh now you have done it...now I am crying!

I hope you know how incredible you guys are...how open and amazing your hearts are...thank you for that...I needed to feel after all of this that humanity in this world was good...and because of you, I do...so thank you from me as well!

I will be sending Christine your comments, and please know that what you say, your experiences...she appreciates them to no end...
Tomorrow for the first time, she is going to a widow support group...she has no idea if it will be good for her to be there or not, but she knows she has to try and get out there, to be a part of an unfortunate club...
I saw Trent and Cole while talking to her on skype today...they are the sweetest little guys...they were so excited to see my cat Sally in the window! Ah....to be ages 2 and 4 again...

Again, thank you for your amazing words, and thank you for your openness...I have been trying to urge Christine to use her blog on her website to talk and discuss openly like we are right now...however, she just cannot go there at this time...and I do understand this...and I will always be there for her as well. That is what a friend is, and one I especially think is like a sister...she was there for me when my world came crashing down...and now I am there for her...at least I am trying to be as much as I can, sometimes it feels like I am still not doing enough, but I know that our friendship will last the test of time...

Thanks again for you guys...and hugs to you all...you are amazing!

Lots of love,

Melissa
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Old Thursday, July 22nd, 2010, 07:32 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Hello to all of you!

I am writing to you, as I have been racking my brain for the past few days, and need some input from the lot of you...plainly put...I need your help in brainstorming....

I was talking to Christine a few nights ago, and last week was her birthday...she asked Tim, Tom's identical twin brother, to come over, as she has not seen him since the accident. For obvious reasons, it is too hard. Tim and Tom are TRUE identical twin brothers...

She wanted to see Tim before he came to the memorial they are having for Tom this weekend on the 24th, the first one she has been able to be at. She wanted to see him so she was not shaken when she saw Tim.

After Tim left her house last week, she was so upset by seeing him, she was actually sick to her stomach...I keep thinking of this, as I am sure that it is a combination of seeing Tim, and so wishing he was Tom, and reliving April 16th in her mind...she said she has completely blocked out the entire cruise so far...and I also think it is because, as he is such a living, breathing version of Tom, that too is way too upsetting. Cole, her oldest, also was yelling "Goodbye daddy!", over and over to Tim as he left...Trent refused to look at him the entire time, and well, little Reid, thank goodness in certain ways, was indifferent to his visit.

I am just wondering to the folks who live in the Ontario area of Canada...does anyone have any ideas, or know of any groups where Christine can deal properly with her grief?

The widows groups she has been referred to, are mostly of women who are later in age, and have lived their lives. Please know, I understand this is just as painful, however, Christine needs a support group to be able to deal with widows in her age group and circumstances...is there such a thing? Does anyone know of anything in the St. Thomas area, or something at least where I can source something out for her and get her a group where she can talk and get her heart out there? She is terrified to let go, as she is scared to death to show her boys that she is not strong...however, it is also making her feel more and more alone...I just don't know where to turn, and that is why I am writing to you all...you might have a better perspective and a different view than myself, and different options for her regarding her grief. She is in real distress...and honestly, I am so worried for her...

Thanks guys, you have been so incredible in the past, and know that ANY idea is welcome!

Thanks again, and talk soon!

Melissa
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Old Sunday, August 15th, 2010, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Melissa,

I just watched this video...

Nice to see the local community(St Thomas/London) come together for a good cause.


YouTube - Norman Family Benefit - 2010
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Old Wednesday, September 1st, 2010, 02:56 PM
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Default Re: Eleventh fatality after collision with bus

Hi there guys!

I am soooooo sorry for it taking me so long to get back to you! I have not been checking this email for a wee while, and am feeling very sheepish about it...
Thank you so much for the link...I know that Christine and her boys had a great time that day, and her neighbor who was the person who put the fundraiser together, was able to raise $3000 for all of them! You are right, it is amazing what support she has there for sure! Thanks so much for the link, as I will be placing it on her website for all to see...
I was just talking to her a few minutes ago, and she is doing ok for the most part...the doctors are hoping that she can wait for 2 years until they give her her new hip, however, she is walking with a huge limp right now, and has to swing her leg out to actually walk...not to mention the pain of it all...as she is so out of whack with the fact that her hip is currently so damaged...so onward the battle, as well as me nagging her to get another opinion of what she needs in order to recover...another opinion from another doctor regarding her hip and leg...
Otherwise, her 3 little guys are going back to school, and it will be Trent's birthday in the next few weeks, which is making her sad, as it will be the first of the boy's birthdays that Tom is not a part of...this is also making Trent sad as well...but saying that, I know that his daddy is cheering for him from above
Well, I hope the rest of you are also having a good time getting your homes ready for the big return to school! Thanks again for the link...I so appreciate it!

Lots of love,

Melissa
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